How God selects the mother of a cwd

My life is too crazy (good but busy) to write lately but with it being mothers day I wanted to share a story that most of those that find their way to my blog have read previously but serves as a reminder of how awesome moms of cwd are. I needed this reminder today and I am thankful to Emma Bombeck for writing this treasure.

HOW GOD SELECTS THE MOTHER OF A CHILD WITH DIABETES
by Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with diabetes are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger. 

"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint Matthew." 
"Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, Patron Saint Cecilia." 

"Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint Gerard. He's used to profanity." 

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a child with diabetes." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy." 

"Exactly", smiles God. "Could I give child with diabetes to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel". 

"But has she the patience?" asks the angel. 

"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I am going to give her has her own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy." 

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." 

God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness." 
The angel gasps. "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?" 

God nods. "If she cannot separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with less than perfect." 

"She does not realize it yet, but she is to be envied. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see .... ignorance, cruelty, prejudice ... and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as if she is here by my side." 

"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid air. God smiles. "A mirror will suffice." 
 

Has it Really been a week?

Today is wordless wednesday and I was all set to simply post pictures that would give some indication of why I haven't posted in over a week.

 Above: Some of middles stuff moved into my room while his is being painted - the other half of his belongings are in my master bathroom. Below: Sweetstuff's belongings now littering the game room while her room is painted. Middles room only took me about an hour to clean out - he is a minimalist. Sweetstuff's room took me over 7 hours. She is a packrat (possible candidate for the show Hoarders). The picture only shows a portion of her belongings. I did not ask her to help me - that way she didn't see the two full trash bags I removed from her room.

On April 23rd my dear husband was offered a job in the San Francisco area. He of course took it - it is a dream job for him and allows him to return home to CA (He grew up in LA and still has family there). He began his new job on April 30th - leaving me and the kiddos here in TX to prepare our current home for the market. We have only been in this home for 7.5 years - how a family of 5 can accumulate so much crud in 7 years is beyond me. Thus I am sorting every single closet, drawer, shelf, etc to clear our the clutter. After all - when people are home shopping they want to walk into homes that look like model homes (note from other posts my complete lack of organization skills, and the infrequency in which I clean a bathroom let alone dust).

I have 2 more weeks to get my 3600sqft home ready for the market. Enter lawn care people, painters, fix-it people, and lots of boxes. I prefer to be a do-it-yourself kinda gal. I prepared our old home 100% by myself while 9 months pregnant. It sold in 2 weeks and it did look like a model home when I was done with it. I am not that young, strong, or motivated this time around. Thus I have chosen to hire local laborers to come do the work for me but it doesn't include the decluttering (spell check says that's not a word but I disagree).

Amidst the decluttering, packing, organizing, painting (I am doing touch up stuff), phone calls to everyone under the sun, appointments with realtors, painters, window repair guy, movers, etc - life still happens. Blood sugars go high and low - kids need to be fed, homework needs to be done, and time still should and is being spent reading and playing with the kids - note that I didn't say I was cooking - just feeding my kids. This week I also have to help Amber with various projects for school as well as finish her Alice in Wonderland costume for her choir concert.

Also during this past weekend Sweetstuff attended her first 2 night campout with her girl scout troop - without me. Now don't start congratulating me to quickly for allowing her D freedom - the troop leader and close friend of mine is also a D mamma. I knew Sweetstuff was in good hands. That did not mean that D played nicely. In fact Sweetstuff pulled 3 sites and 1 site failed (infusion sites are used with insulin pumps and attach a tube to the body for insulin to pass through - no site = no insulin). Her numbers were all over the dang place from 596 to 42. I don't blame failed/lost sites for all her numbers - on top of all the D issues there was D R A M A!!!! I don't see how - why would thirteen 12 year old girls get caught up in drama??? (sarcasm is my first language fro those that don't know me all that well yet). The girl drama likely contributed to the elevated (who am I kidding - higher than all hell) blood sugars.
She did well though - did everything exactly as I would have done it (note I did not say exactly the right way). The numbers were flukes or charged emotionally and she could not control those issues. All in all she had a fantastic time - which makes me happy since it was her last camping trip with this troop due to the stinking move.

I am going through serious DOC (diabetes online community) withdrawal, as well as blog withdrawal (mine and so many others), and I very tired.
Still I am not whining - I recognize that what I am dealing with many others would trade places with me in a heart beat. Friends who have cancer, friends husbands who have cancer, homes lost in acts of god, and the list goes on. It is easy sometimes to get caught up in desires or needs of our own that are not being met and forget that there are others who have it so much worse than we do.
I pray for those people nightly and sometimes while brushing my teeth in the morning, or while I wash dishes, or while I sit here and type out this long winded babbaly (again not a real word but I like it) post I have said prayers for my friends both real and cyber buddies (not to suggest cyber buddies are not real people).

I feel better that I have posted - even if it didn't include anything profound.
Falling asleep - head fell forward and nearly hit the keyboard - must sleep now.

Night

30 Days 30 Posts 3 days Late

Day 30 Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge

My last prompt was intended for May 1st but with all that has been happening in the last 2 weeks I fell behind. Catching up today with a final HAWMC post before a new challenge begins - looking forward to  Diabetes Blog Week

The prompt for May 1st was: Recap HAWMC. You did it! 30 posts in 30 days. Which was your favorite prompt? Which was the most difficult? Which ideas will you reuse? Who was your favorite fellow blogger?

First off - I loved that as a virgin blogger I took this opportunity to participate in the challenge. The prompts kept me focused and on task (mostly). I wrote posts that I might not have considered writing had I been going it alone during the 3 months of being a blog author.

My favorite prompt(s) - I have a hard time choosing one item over another - that's why I take multiple friends with me when I go eat sushi.

• Health Time Capsule - I loved this one because it encouraged me to think about what is important in my health and the health of my children. Health Time Capsule
• Why I write - It made me really think about why blogging has been so important for me and thankful I finally got started - Why I write
• Ekphrasis Post - well first off I learned a new word and I do love words. Second I got to discover flickr and what a neat site it is. Third - things just fit that day. Airplanes Elephants and Merry-Go-Rounds
• 5 Dinner Guests - I loved this post because it happened and while writing it I got to relive that wonderful evening of love & laughter Dining with diabetes- served with a side of friends
• Miracle Cure - this wasn't so much a favorite prompt - more of a favorite post. I had thought about conjuring up some magic fairy farts to create a cure but in the end I recognized that there is no miracle cure - just hard working people. Exposed
• My Happy Place - This was by far my most favorite prompt - it was from a list of early bird prompts that I received for registering early. I used it on a free choice day. I love my happy place not only because it makes me happy - because it takes away everything that isn't happy. Ocean of tears

What prompt was most difficult?

My Dream Day - I hated this prompt. It made me realize I do have a little 'selfish' in me. I'm not sharing the link - you will have to look for it if you want to read it.

Which ideas will you reuse?

I liked contemplating the 5 challenges and 5 small victories - it was good to take inventory.

Favorite fellow bloggers? See above regarding favorite prompts. 

Choosing a single prompt or post was too hard for me so choosing a favorite blogger would be impossible. Every blog I read was important enough for another blogger to write. Sure some are more entertaining, some are more honest, some are more educational - but I couldn't tell you which blogger(s) are my favorites. I'm just grateful there are others who share. 

Wordless Wednesday (almost)

We will be moving to this glorious area soon. 

My boys still don't know. 

We knew over the last 8 months or so that we might be making a move to a new state/job/life. 

We figured we would cross that bridge when we come to it. 

Turns out the bridge is the Golden Gate. 

Picture shared from flickr - belongs to Rob Vucic

I Don't do Well with Limitations

Day 29 Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge

Sunday's prompt: Six Sentence Story. In this day of micro-blogging - brevity is a skill worth honing. Can you tell a story and make it short and sweet? What can you say in six sentences.

First let me ask do parenthesis count?
So those of you who have read any number of my posts you are already laughing at this prompt when it comes to me. Brevity is not my forte. I will give it a go though.

There are times in the last 5+ years that one or more of my littles has said something regarding diabetes that stops me in my tracks, makes me force a smile, and then leaves me hiding in my laundry room silently weeping.

One of those times was when Sugarboy was only 3 and getting ready to check his blood sugar, he took out his canister of strips and noticed it was the last strip in the canister, thus he said to me, "wouldn't it be great if when you ran out of strips diabetes would be done."

Later that same year we took part in the JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes - just before we began the walk Sugarboy asked if we got the cure at the end of the walk or would they mail it to us.

Another time just before his fifth birthday Sugarboy said he would be happy when diabetes went away after his birthday; seems he thought that D was something kids had until they turned 5 since his brother didn't have D when he was 5.

Wait there's more...

Sweetstuff viewed the sex-ed video at school when she was in forth grade, when she returned home I asked her if she understood everything, she said yes it was fine but then asked, "will my kids have diabetes?"

This last one isn't a tear jerker - it is actually funny and I wanted to end on a happy note - btw this sentence doesn't count. :P

We were at a friends house and Sugarboy was playing with their big fluffy dog, I told him that Buttons has diabetes too, he looked under Buttons belly and moved his hands through her fur then asked, "Where is her infusion set?"

I'll Need To Be As Brave As Him

Day 28 Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge

(still catching up - and skipping around to get everything done)
Saturday's prompt was: The First Time I... Write a post about the first time you did something. What was it? What was it like? What did you learn from it?

I had a hard time choosing an event for this post.

I considered writing about my first blog post. I remember being scared that it wouldn't be good, that I would share too much, that I wouldn't have anything worth sharing, that I would spell a bazillion words wrong and forget to use punctuation properly. In the end the spelling and punctuation didn't matter. Once I started writing I wasn't scared and found lots to write about. As far as the quality well that's up to the readers. It was therapeutic and fun and I'm glad I continued.

I considered writing about my first Kids Walk Presentation for the JDRF - I was nervous and scared I would screw up, say the wrong thing, forget to share some vital piece of information. Turns out I do well in front of little people (a good thing since I'm a teacher by trade). I made mistakes but the kids didn't know and they responded well to the presentation. Three years later I am even better at it and loving it the most out of all the volunteer things I do.

I tossed other ideas around but kept coming back to the basic. The thing that I never thought I would have to do and certainly don't want to do. I always wanted to be a writer (do blogs count? - say yes so I can feel accomplished) and I always wanted to be a presenter (do kids count? - say yes so I can feel glad). What I never imagined myself doing was sticking a syringe into my two year old's thigh. I've already posted  Diagnosis stories (yes plural) so I don't need to share them again but what I didn't share was my first time dosing my child.

So after watching the nurses dose my dear boy and receiving minimal training I was handed a syringe. It wasn't truly huge but it felt like a harpoon in my hands. It wasn't particularly intimidating although to me it  looked like a medieval torturing device. I tried so hard to hold it steady to insert the tiny needle (looked like a samurai sword to me) into the rubber stopper on the top of the insulin vial. My hands shook and the needle bounced around the rubber stopper before I was able to fully insert it. I pulled back and watched the clear liquid gold fill the tiny body of the syringe. I flicked the side of the syringe to encourage all the mini bubbles to dance their way to the tip to be expelled. I pushed too hard and insulin shot across the room leaving an overwhelming smell of band aides throughout. Sugarboy was engrossed in a DS game and hardly paying attention to all that was happening in the room - a tiny little super hero in his superman jammies complete with cape oblivious to the fear and sadness his mommy was feeling.

I squinted closely to be sure the insulin was free of bubbles. It was difficult since the entire dose was only 1 unit. Time to inject the insulin - I told my little man that it was time for a shot and he simply laid back. I gently tugged at Sugarboys PJ pants - wanting desperately to toss the syringe to the side, grab my boy and run away - to pretend it was all a nightmare.

The nurse stopped me then and reminded me I needed to clean the skin with an alcohol wipe before dosing. Sugarboy simply looked over the DS at me - his big beautiful eyes so innocent and brave. I wiped the skin clean - he said it was cold but didn't stop playing his game. He had received a number of shots already - even from his daddy and was used to it. I realized later he thought that it would only last while he was at the hospital - he didn't understand we would be taking the syringes home with him.

I gently blew on the cleaned area but then the nurse told me not to do that. She said I could leave germs and made me clean the area again and then wave my hand over the cleaned area. I took aim with the syringe and the nurse whispered "It's better to go fast". I thought about closing my eyes but decided that would be stupid. Still Sugarboy played his game. I pinched up his skin, inserted the needle, pressed the plunger, counted to 5, released the skin and removed the needle. Still Sugarboy played his game. I wanted to vomit. I'm not a math whiz but I quickly calculated the minimum number of times I would do this each day - 4 x 365 = 1,460. Now I just wanted to cry. Still Sugarboy played his game. I kissed his forehead told him he was brave and that I loved him. He told me "Me too" - still he played his game. I loved that DS.

On that day I learned that I will have to be as brave as my boy to keep him alive. 

Get your head out of the clouds...

Day 30 Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge

Still playing catch up but this was today's actual prompt: Word Cloud.  Make a word cloud or tree with a  list of words that come to mind when you think about your blog, health, or interests. I cheated - I used a word generator that pulled words from my blog. Word Cloud Generator

Of course after I used the word cloud generator I couldn't figure out how to post it. This I took a picture of my computer screen with my iPhone. Reminds me of when I was a tween and would hold my Tape recorder up the radio to record top 40. Oh technology I love you - I may not always understand you but I do love you. Surely you (a reader that wants to create your own fun word cloud) will likely be able to figure out how to share the link to the word cloud. I followed the instructions to the best of my ability but still failed. Oh well - iPhone pic coming up.

Doesn't surprise me that the word Diabetes is the largest - either it is because I use it most often or the program just knows that despite our best efforts much of the time - diabetes is still the elephant that can not be ignored. Always demanding attention.