My Happy Place

Day 7

Today there wasn't an assigned prompt other than to choose my own. I signed up early (yea me) so I was given bonus prompts and I picked -
"Happy Place. When you need an escape from your condition where do you imagine yourself? Close your eyes and go to your happy place – then describe the sights, sounds, scents, and feelings."

I could spend hours describing my happy place and why it is my happy place, however I think with the exception of an unfortunate few everyone has likely been to my happy place. (No it isn't Disney World - although that is in my top ten happy places.) My place lies on any coast around the globe where the water meets the sand. Where tides roll in and wipe away thoughts left behind. To help illustrate this I've included some photos I took the last time I visited my happy place.

Like all humans capable of feeling - I harbor all sorts of uglies that stifle me and reduce me to a puddle of self pity. Purging those uglies allows me to move on without muddling through life in a wave of negativity.

The first ugly I let the vast waters take away is always regret. It is easy compared to those still to come.

The second to go is mistakes - similar to regret but still in need of their own time in the sand.

Regrets are things done and not done.

Mistakes are things I've said or done that may have hurt others feelings.

The next is a biggy and not easy to let go - it even takes the strong arms of the ocean a number of tries to erase the scars anger leaves behind. Sometimes anger drives me to act and that isn't all bad because it has prompted me to advocate for diabetes awareness, treatment and of course a cure. The problem is if I keep the anger in my heart it eventually stifles my creativity, my drive and plunges me into burnout.

The last is as difficult as anger but offers no value. It doesn't motivate, it doesn't help me learn (like mistakes do), it just sucks me into a pity party where no one celebrates. It has ripple effects too - it causes me to eat emotionally which in turn causes me to gain weight which then leads to guilt and self loathing. The worst part is it likes company (the whole misery loves company idea). When I experience sadness and get stuck in a loop that has pit stops at the above emotions I get ugly, lashing out at the world spreading my frustrations, fears and sadness like a pandemic. Thankfully it doesn't happen often and I have learned to warn those I love when it becomes to much. I have learned to ask for help and ACCEPT it. It is still a bitch to get rid of though.

I live in a state that has a coast. It isn't as beautiful as others around the globe but the waters that come to take away my uglies are the same that travel this great world of ours. Taking my pain away to far off places and returning with hope, love, and forgiveness. I don't get to sink my feet in the sand or wade in the healing waters as often as Id like, but thankfully my brain is tied to them. When I close my eyes I can hear the waves whispering to me that everything will be ok, everything will work out, I will take your pain and raise you happiness. Visualization works wonders for me. The tides help me fall asleep, are with me when I place an infusion site, check a blood sugar at 3am, and while I explain to my dear ones that they didn't do anything wrong to get diabetes despite what the stranger said to them about cookies. I love my happy place and I hope I never have to be land locked in a state with no coast.

My Happy Place - this one happened to be located in South Padre TX.