My life as a theme song....

Day 11 Health Activists Writers Month Challenge

Today's challenge is to Imagine my health focus or blog is getting its own theme song. What would the lyrics be? What type of music would it be played to?
Well of course the obvious answer to that would be the song my dear Sweetness wrote about diabetes and how it makes her feel. She wrote the song first as a poem but then started humming a melody to it. Soon it turned into a song. It has won awards in the state of Texas and it is copyrighted. She hopes to sing it one day at the Children With Diabetes Friends For Life Conference in Orlando as well as teach it to all the kids at Texas Lions Camp this summer along with the sign language that she choreographed with it. Below you can hear Sweetness sing her song at the JDRF Type One Now conference and/or read the lyrics.

Sweetness singing her song "It's Alright"

Lyrics for "Its Alright"

Sometimes I feel low

Sometimes I feel high

It's like a roller coaster riding up through the sky

Sometimes I'm confused

Sometimes I am sad

Sometimes I'm just really mad

But I don't give up

And I don't give in

This thing is not gonna win

So take my pain

And take my hand

Lead me to a place to understand

It's alright

It's alright

So I keep praying

And I keep hoping

But for now I keep checking and dosing

Together we can

Together we will

Find a cure for me and for you

So don't give up

And don't give in

This thing is not gonna win

So take our pain

And take our hands

Lead us to a place to understand

Its alright

Its alright

It'll be alright

Since this blog is about life as a parent of children with diabetes and with Sweetness's permission I wrote my own lyrics for the first verse - leaving the chorus and second verse as is.

Sometimes I screw up

Sometimes I succeed

Its a learning curve I might never get right

Sometimes I feel guilt

Sometimes I get pissed

Sometimes I just celebrate

Like I said earlier the obvious choice of a theme song for my blog is my daughters song but there is another song that has played an enormous role in my life as a parent of cwd.
When Sugar Boy was diagnosed in Feb of 2007 it was close to devastating. I was so scared and confused. We checked into the ER at children's hospital, held our wailing boy while they placed an IV, and watched the IV fluids drip into his tiny dehydrated starving body. After a bit we could see he already was feeling better. He was laughing and playing and begging for snacks. Within an hour though he became pale, his eyes sunk back into his head and he became so very sleepy. I frantically called for the doctor or nurses. He felt like he was slipping away from me. The nurse checked his blood sugar - he was 27. I exclaimed "You were wrong he isn't diabetic get the insulin off him!" The nurse looked at me with such sadness. They gave him glucose and he perked up again. I was wrong of course - they were right (something I'm not used to - even my kids will tell you I am always right).
It was very late by this time and I had to get my other two kids home. On the drive home I could barely see the road I was crying so hard. Sweetness and Middles were falling asleep in the van. The traffic was heavier than usual and it was dangerous for me to be driving so emotionally charged and with reduced vision due to my never ending tears. I pulled over on the side of the freeway - unable to get to an exit. I sat at the wheel of my van and sobbed silently. Shoulders shaking, stomach clenched and hands gripping the steering wheel with my knuckles turning white - I prayed. I prayed for strength and understanding. I was raised a Christian but hadn't been involved much in a church. I didn't normally pray and while I believed it was a very watered down belief.
I knew I had to get my self composed and get my kids home. Music helps me focus so I reached out and between tear swollen eyes I turned on the radio. At that moment a song began. I had heard it before but never really listened to it. However, that night on the busy freeway with my older two nestled in their car seats and my youngest sleeping quietly in the ER I heard it. It was a push. It was a voice telling me to move. It was what I needed to make a choice to turn my directional on, merge back into life and move forward.

Hanging By A Moment

"Hanging By A Moment" by LifeHouse

Desperate for changing, starving for truth

I'm closer to where I started, I'm chasing after you

I'm falling even more in love with you

Letting go of all I've held on to

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Forgetting all I'm lacking, completely incomplete

I'll take your invitation, you take all of me now

I'm falling even more in love with you

Letting go of all I've held on to

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

I'm living for the only thing I know

I'm running and not quite sure where to go

And I don't know what I'm diving into

Just hanging by a moment here with you

There's nothing else to lose, there's nothing else to find

There's nothing in the world that can change my mind

There is nothing else

There is nothing else

There is nothing else

Desperate for changing, starving for truth

I'm closer to where I started, I'm chasing after you

I'm falling even more in love with you

Letting go of all I've held on to

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

I'm living for the only thing I know

I'm running and not quite sure where to go

And I don't know what I'm diving into

Just hanging by a moment here with you

Just hanging by a moment

Just hanging by a moment

I'm hanging by a moment

Just hanging by a moment here with you

Over the two years that followed SugarBoy's diagnosis my faith did grow and so did my strength. Ill talk about how Sweetness's diagnosis effected my faith in a later post - although I can say that with her diagnosis my theme song would sound more like Blasphemous Rumors by Depeche Mode.